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Wednesday, Nov. 01, 2023 - 15:31

My coffee plant has a coffee bean! It bloomed this summer for the first time ever, one bloom, but I never imagined it would actually produce a bean! I'm going to roast this thing as soon as it's done. Now I have to figure out how to tell when it's done.

Right now I'm in the algorithm for this type of post: woman tells her husband she's getting her hair done, gets it massively chopped off instead, and then comes home and films his reaction to her new haircut. I don't know why this is even a thing, but it is, and I'm getting all the videos about it suggested to me. I wonder what the point of all of this is for humanity - it's such a colossal waste of time.

I have learned in the space of the last paragraph that they're called berries by those in the know and that they'll turn red when ready to be harvested. So I've got some time. I'll figure out how to roast it when the time comes. (I'm imagining toasting it like a pine nut in a cast iron skillet but that might not be the way to go.)

Oh, you can roast it on a tray in the oven.

I could make one of those cute teeny weeny videos - harvesting and roasting my one coffee bean berry, grinding it in a tiny coffee grinder, boiling a tiny pot of water, and making a tiny cup of coffee for a felt bunny or frog or something - oh, a Barbie of course! And then I could be the one wasting everyone's time on social media.

But for real I'm going to roast it and add it to my morning coffee and I will be able to taste in in there.