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On loss Life is so weird and I don't understand how things happen. I don't understand how someone can be alive and fine and then, all of a sudden, not alive anymore. How does that happen? What is the mechanism? Why do I refuse to try to understand this? I don't want to understand it. I don't understand how any of this happens and I don't want to because I don't want it to happen. I have been very lucky all my life but that just makes me less able to cope. But this doesn't have anything to do with me. Our minds are amazing. I refuse to believe this so in my mind I can pretend that everything is the way it's always been. But it's not. Tony, you will be missed.
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