|
|
|
showerfree and writing contest entry Dude, I did TRX today and I'm not even going to take a shower tonight. I'll just get all sweaty again tomorrow, who even cares? I've decided to get some record shelves from Ikea, but it costs $350 to ship what I want, so I've decided to drive down to southern California so I don't have to pay shipping. I'll visit my sister. I kind of think I might do this. I really could, I mean. ------------- You have one final day to submit your entry for the mandatory writing contest. If you fail to do so, you will be banned. You will have the right to appeal your banishment. You must submit your appeal in writing in the style of a 12-year-old girl who just tried to read Moby Dick. Ha! I just thought of that. Ha! Here is my entry. I think it's really good. ------------- Once upon a time there was this ship captain called Jane. Jane was the only lady ship captain in the world. This was a long time ago. Jane had a big ship, and her crew really liked her because she was such a good captain. That's how she became the only lady captain, because she was so good. She was really pretty too but she had a peg leg because of an altercation with a whale that happened when she was 12 years old... It was a dark and stormy night. Jane went down to the sea. She was 12 years old. She lived in a house with her parents. They lived in a lighthouse. Her dad, Melville, was the lighthouse keeper. One night, her parents tucked her into bed, but she couldn't sleep because she had an ominous dream about a whale. The whale said to her, "Jane, come meet me at the beach." So Jane got up and walked to the beach. There was a big rocky spot. Jane got on the rocks. Then a big wave came and crashed onto the rocks! Jane slid off into the ocean. Around and around she swirled. Then she felt something under her feet! It was a whale! Jane said, "Hi, whale, I've come down to meet you like you told me to." Then the whale bit off her foot! Jane fell unconscious... When she woke up, she was in a hospital. There were bandages all over her body. Then she said to her dad, "Dad, I had a dream about a whale." Her dad shook his head. "It wasn't a dream, Jane," he said. A single tear fell down his cheek... Jane had to relearn how to walk on her peg leg. They told her she could be an invalid and stay in bed for the rest of her life because she didn't have a foot, but she decided to become a sea captain in order to hunt the whale that bit off her foot, so she demanded that they give her a peg leg. It was very hard to walk on the peg leg but she was able to learn how. Jane went to high school but she was very smart so she graduated when she was 16. She had to break up with her boyfriend so that she could go off to sea. He cried and said he didn't want her to go. "I'm sorry, Johnny," she said. "I must find that whale. I can never rest until I find that whale." He said he understood, and they broke up. He kissed her goodbye... Jane had dreams about the whale again. The whale would come up and say to her, "Jane, I am your destiny." Jane tried to throw rocks at the whale but she ended up falling out of bed! Jane worked hard at her summer job and then bought a big ship. It was the finest ship anyone had ever seen. Then she went down to the docks to hire her crew. They all lined up. She went one by one and picked out the best guys. Jane's last name was Cook, so she introduced herself to them as Captain Cook. Their first voyage was to Australia but they didn't see the whale. Jane kept on sailing around the world, looking for the whale. One day, they were sailing into Hawaii, and Jane saw something on the horizon. She thought maybe it was the whale, so they sailed over there. It turned out to be a submerged island. It was neat, because it was only one foot under the surface of the water, so all the people on the ship got out and walked around in the ocean. Then they got back on the ship and sailed back toward Nantucket. Jane decided to give up her quest, because they hadn't found the whale. They had been sailing around the world for years. She was going to marry her old boyfriend and take over her dad's lighthouse. She was 19 years old by now. She sent love letters to Johnny wherever she went. She put them into bottles and threw them out into the ocean. "My love will go with the tides," she whispered. They got up to Nantucket, and right when they were about to turn to go to the shore, they saw something on the horizon! The lookout, One-Eyed Joe, was the one to see it. "Captain Cook!" he shouted. "I see it, I see it!" They kept sailing straight ahead to the dark spot in the sea. It was the whale! Jane shouted, "I'm here, whale! Now it's just me and you!" The whale looked at Jane in horror. The whale didn't think Jane would come back and get her. The whale tried to swim away, but Jane shot her with a harpoon! The harpoon got the whale in the back, but the whale didn't die. Instead she started flopping around, making really big waves that made the ship rock and roll. Waves of blood. Some of the crew members got sick, but Jane didn't, because her peg leg helped her adjust to the rocking of the ship very well. Jane shot another harpoon at the whale, and got it in the back again. That was her last harpoon! Then Jane got a big knife, the biggest knife she could find. She put it in between her teeth, and then she jumped off the plank into the ocean! Her crew members all looked over the side of the ship. They saw her swim toward the thrashing whale. "I'll get you, whale," she said, and then she took the knife and stabbed the whale in the heart! Her crew members all cheered, and then they hauled up the whale body into the ship and sailed into the harbor. Ten days later, Jane was wearing whaleskin boots, and she knocked on Johnny's door. Johnny answered. "Jane..." he began. "Shh," she said. "Don't talk." Then she just grabbed him and kissed him! They kissed for two minutes. "Jane, I thought you were gone for good!" he said. "I just had to find my destiny," she said. He told her that one day he was walking on the beach crying because he missed her, and then he found a message in a bottle. It was from her! Then he found another! Every day he went to the beach to look for her letters. That's how he knew she still loved him. They got married and they lived happily ever after, except Jane never forgot about that whale.
|