Writing contest winners, self-pity, and more exciting things to come
Saturday, May 17, 2003 - 14:26

Today I would like to announce the winner of my exciting May writing contest. The competition was fierce and, believe you me, it was very difficult to be the judge, but I have decided that the winner of the Wonder Woman May Writing Award is Miss Badgrammar. You can read her stellar award-winning entry here. Badgrammar wins this:

The runner-up is me. You can read my stellar award-winning entry here. And yes, I'm cheating, since I'm the judge and creator of the contest and all, but tough. I win the Peanut the Royal Blue Elephant Teenie Beanie Baby Award.

There is no actual tangible prize that goes with the Peanut the Royal Blue Elephant Teenie Beanie Baby Award, unlike the Wonder Woman May Writing Award, and so some might argue that the Peanut the Royal Blue Elephant Teenie Beanie Baby Award is more prestigious than the Wonder Woman May Writing Award, and that, not only am I cheating by giving myself an award, I am being duplicitous and conniving and self-serving by giving the winner a less prestigious award that only comes with a small graphic while taking the more prestigious award that comes with an aura of distinction and honor and mystique for myself.

But to you naysayers, I can only say this: I can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. Or wait, is it only some of the people some of the time? I don't know. See, it's so difficult being in this position of power. No one understands.

Hmm, I think, since this contest was so successful, that I'll do it again. And maybe next time I'll give you the last sentence. That'll be fun.

And yes, I'm still reading that albatross 1984. Winston finally got lucky. I'll have another book club meeting soon. Bah.