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- I checked out a library book a few months ago. I knew it was due in December, but I forgot that "December" meant December, so you can imagine my horror when I looked at the checkout slip a few days ago and saw that it was due on December 2. December 2, as you well know, is a day that has already come and gone. And so it would seem that my library book was overdue. Overdue! I am an adult American! I haven't had an overdue library book since time immemorial! This is almost as bad as when I flaked out on jury duty this summer. (Jesus I need to get my shit together.) I logged into my library account yesterday to find out how big my fine was, and I discovered two kerfluffy things: 1. My library book is now due in March. Discussion: 1. HOW is my book now due in March? Did some kind librarian renew it for me? Does that happen automagically? I don't know but okay, thank you. 2. TWO? I have never heard of this other book in my life. Who checked this second book out? Wait, is someone checking out and renewing library books for me? What kind of bizarre identity theft is this? Further discussion: Upon further research, oh yeah, I vaguely recall reading about this series about this detective guy which starts out "Oh, damn!" Oh yeah. Well I guess I checked this second book out in October and promptly forgot about it. I should probably read it. Um, I wonder where I put this book, because not only had I never heard of this book before yesterday, I've never seen such a book lying around anywhere. Yeah, I need to get my shit together. New Years Resolutions! 1. Eat more vegetables, and 2. get my shit together.
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