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- Hello! I am at the gym walking on the treadmill and using my telephone to get caught up on societal obligations such as responding to text messages and leaving congratulatory responses to people’s celebratory posts on the facebook - things I’d been avoiding when there were other more preferable things to do around me. Here’s a post I wrote for you today: Towards the end of my stay in New Zealand I noticed that my hands were forming some sort of shell, like lizard skin, as if they had burned and it was about to all peel off. But my hands hadn't burned. It freaked me out, and only got worse on the planes home. I exfoliated the crap out of my hands when I got home but not much changed. I worried it wasn't going to come off, my hands would just be lizardy forever, my youth and vitality ended. I was so relieved, though, when they finally did start to peel. I already told you this, I think. My hands are close to being back to normal now but are still weird sometimes. I noticed the other day that my tricep area was peeling on each arm. This was also weird, because I hadn't burned there either. But I exfoliated, moisturized, and moved on. And then YESTERDAY my legs turned into desert landscapes. Like dry, cracked mud. Like super freaky. I exfoliated and then put on coconut oil and then put on St. Ives lotion. To no avail. My legs were worse than ever. My skin is not yet used to this arid Air here. I am terribly vain. This is what I’m worrying about these days. Tonight I'm going to the gym. I'll sit in the steam room for as long as possible in order to soften up this hard shell that is covering me, and then I'll take a shower and use a washcloth on my arms and legs - AND MY EARS, THE TOPS OF MY EARS - and then I'll jump into a vat of coconut oil and swim around in it for an hour, and then I'll wrap myself up in Saran Wrap. In other news, I revoked my voluntary termination thing at work today, so I'll still be working there, forever and ever. In order to make sure "revocation" was a word, I googled it. And in so doing I found out about the genre of music called Technical Death Metal. Google it yourself. The names of Technical Death Metal bands in the wikipedia is hilarious, like they could be fake bands in some cartoon or something.
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