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- This calf muscle hasn't gotten any better and in fact has gotten worse over the last day. I'm stressing out about this race, which is silly, because it doesn't matter, because nothing matters! The only thing I need to do this weekend is have fun, but I'm freaking out. I have to go to the store to get food, I have to decide what to wear for the races, I have to get ready for each the night before, I have to sleep, I have to hydrate, I have to volunteer tonight, I have a puppy to take care of, I have to go across town to feed two cats, I have to make sure I stop eating whatever food is making my gut all upset right now, I have to water the garden, I have to clean up my goddamn apartment, I should take a nap tomorrow. The puppy didn't go camping with his roommate this week so he's with me, which is great, I love him and am happy to take care of him, but it adds more stuff to do and less time to sleep. Last night he was all amped up when we went to bed because he saw a bug before I turned out the light, and he didn't settle down for a few hours. Also it was a million degrees. The weekend's going to be a million degrees. They'd lowered the forecast but now are saying today and tomorrow will be 100. Sunday is only going to be 93 now but it's not cooling down overnight and the race will be hot. And my calf muscle. And no sleep. Yesterday I walked by a garbage can and heard a chirping noise coming out of it. Oh no, an injured bird! I looked into the garbage can and was hissed at. It was two raccoons. They were trapped! They'd fry in the heat of the day! I called it in. They already knew about it. The raccoons weren't trapped, they were just hanging out waiting for some food. Earlier, officially that morning but in practicality the night before, I would have been woken up by an earthquake had I been asleep but I was still awake. It was a million degrees inside and I'd gone to bed stupid late. I've been in earthquakes but had never been scared before this one. The house was moving around and it lasted a long time. After it finally stopped I went outside. There was an aftershock. I was scared to go back inside. After half an hour or so, though, it became silly to stay up. The puppy's roommate had to get up early for work, and I had to get up to go to work. And I was supposed to be resting up for my big weekend! When I got back into bed, was that more shaking, or was I imagining it? I eventually fell asleep but the earth didn't calm down until 5 a.m., not that I was feeling it for that long. It's adult-dumb to have to have this lesson reinforced but it did reinforce it for me: If Mother Nature wants to kill you, you will be killed. It's scary and we like to pretend that we're in control, but we are not. I'm stressing out although it's unnecessary. Yesterday at lunch - it was our last group training, and I'm one of the coaches, but I'm stressed out - instead of going to that group training, I decided to go home, let the dog out, and get some things done. I'm feeling better. I'm stressed out but it's okay, I'll manage this.
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