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- The puppy and his roommate left for work early this morning, camping until tomorrow night, and I miss them already. I should be glad that I'll have some time to myself but I am not. I've been dancing down a nonsensical warpath the last couple weeks. I want to say barbed, pointed things in order to get a reaction. I convince myself that bad perspectives are true and then imagine horrible things to say based on that reality. I know - part of my brain knows - that these bad perspectives don't have to be true and it's just as easy to interpret things in a more positive light, but sometimes I like to torture myself, I suppose. And torture other people. I suppose I just want some reassurance, but it's a shitty way to get reassurance... AND I should be self-assured, I shouldn't need assurance - so it all comes down to lack of confidence. So I should take these two days with grace and get over myself. Things have been so incredibly good lately and I don't know why I sabotage myself like this. Will transplant peppers and tomatoes, and move tulips, and get some sleep. I bought some couch pillows like the huge adult I am.
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