January 15, 4 degrees
Sunday, Jan. 15, 2017 - 18:01

Do you think that continuing to write here is a sign of some kind of emotional disorder? Wondering about the narcissism of journaling isn't new, and I'm not sure there's anything conclusive that's been said, and I'm sure it depends on what a person's writing about, but every so often I get sick of or embarrassed by what I'm writing.

I'm getting a stye on my eye. I didn't think another of "this kind of thing" would happen so quickly after my infected finger - I'm still wearing bandaids on my finger, it's not even healed yet! - and now I've got this stye on my eye. It's uncomfortable. And I've been crying, which doesn't make my eye feel any better.

Also my grandma may or may not be dying. You never know of course but the hospital did say it was appropriate to notify all the family that this might be it. I'm not crying about that, really - I'm not close to her, didn't really know her when I was growing up, don't have particularly good memories of her - but I suppose you start thinking about a person's life, and I think my grandma tried her best given what she had, and it didn't always work out.

And I'm feeling sorry for myself. When this happens I try to check myself, realize that I'm overly emotional and so any conclusions I come to aren't going to be the best - but that doesn't stop me from doing all this sad thinking.

I think when you're getting a stye on your eye AND crying everything just compounds and you feel like a pound of shit, an endless pile of shit, a ball of suck and misery.

So here are some good things:

1. Obviously my glutes. They are my favorite muscles and I'll never get tired of activating them, left right left right.
2. The puppy. I love that guy. He stinks real bad right now but he's a cuddlebug and I don't even care that he stinks.
3. html
4. Snow and frozen rivers.
5. Antibiotics. Yes they mess your shit up and irresponsible overuse may lead to the end of humankind etc. but when you need em you need em.
6. Netflix, which is what I'm going to do right now to get me to stop thinking about the wild and terrible things I've been making up.