June 29
Wednesday, Jun. 29, 2016 - 20:12

Now all of life is just passing the time until once again your eyes look into mine. Ben Harper sings that. One day, long ago, thousands of miles from here, I stepped into a cafe when that song was playing and heard those words - which I'd heard plenty of times before - and nearly collapsed.

I'm sure I got quite bitter about Tim and for a while I didn't believe in love anymore but I knew that was just a phase. Of course I believe in love. I just don't believe in it the way I used to.

I'll hear those words again now but won't have a panic attack. Instead I'll keep myself busy by pruning the plants or doing the dishes or picking the carrots or going to work and I'll be fine.

It's not like in the movies or the fairy tales, you know? You don't meet "the one" and "fall in love" and "live happily ever after". Or, you do, but just the first two. That last thing is where it can all fall apart. Luckily we are resilient animals.

So I'm checking the baseball scores and avoiding my housework and thinking about disinfecting some shears so I can chop the crap out of some plants. I got out a frozen ball of pizza dough to thaw out but got a late start on it, might be eating dinner at 11 tonight.