June 14
Tuesday, Jun. 14, 2016 - 15:00

Alarm went off at six today. My alarm doesn't wake me up unless I want it to - I need to put it on vibrate on days I have to get up early.

It was pouring rain. If I weren't one of the coaches for this training group, I would have gotten back in bed. I hadn't made any preparations last night, hadn't laid out any clothes or gotten anything together, but managed to get out the door on time. But I forgot my fitbit, and I forgot a non-running jacket. It's cold, it's rainy, I'm tired and cold, I hardly even exist.

I went home at lunch to get a coat, and also decided to take my stereo to the repair shop (B speakers aren't turning on anymore). As I was loading the heavy receiver into the back of my car, in the rain, wearing the coat I'd remembered so intelligently to get, I realized my nose was dripping a little, and then I started choking a little, and goddammit it was another nosebleed. This motherfucker of a nose is getting cauterized in a week and two days (unless it turns out to really be leukemia, in which case I doubt they'll go through with the cauterization).

I'm trying hard not to fall asleep at my desk but maybe I'll just close my eyes for a few seconds, maybe I'll prop up my head with my hands and hope no one walks by. Maybe I'll go to bed early today, maybe I'll get the puppy to come take a nap with me when I get home tonight, maybe I'll actually get some sleep tonight.

I wanted to write in my journal at lunch today, not deal with a nosebleed.

You know what's annoying and dumb? In Sweet Home Alabama when she's talking about "Deep South glass" and it's so great and you just can't find it in New York and then oh my god it's her estranged husband who makes the "Deep South glass" that she loves so much! What a coincidence!

If Sweet Home Alabama is on the netflix I'm gonna watch it tonight.

Dammit it's not.