Snot and its consequences
Thursday, Mar. 17, 2016 - 17:13

Today I pulled a long rope of thick snot out of my head. It was satisfying but disgusting and I've never experienced anything like it. I need to remember to use my neti pot tonight because I'm sure there's more of that crap up there. Not quite the consistency of Silly Putty but give it a day or two and I'm sure it would get there. Then, given more time, it would harden into a giant booger ball that would stay lodged in my head the rest of my life, and perhaps in a few hundred years when they excavate my burial site the booger ball will have formed into some sort of lovely amber-like material which will be cut and polished and worn on the necklace of a princess who will rule her lands fairly and justly at first like her father before her but as the power and her own loveliness (magnified by her opulent necklace) go to her head she will become increasingly despotic and terrible. She will become known as the Terrible Amber Princess. The only hope for mankind will be an assassination attempt by a lowly peasant who will shoot an arrow at the princess's haughty neck, but the path of the arrow will be thwarted by the lovely preserved booger she is wearing, and humanity will fall to ruin. Fortunately, none of that will happen because hopefully I will be cremated and my boogers turned to ash and/or I will remember to use my neti pot tonight.