In Santa Croce with no Baedeker
Monday, Jul. 20, 2015 - 10:04

Was watering the yard and garden, thought the garden workers would be upset, but they didn't seem to mind, and in fact the hummingbirds were bathing on the wet plum leaves and flying through the sprinkler water. It was very cute.

I hope I don't ever get back into that thing where women pretend that they're fat and shouldn't be eating anything at all. My grandma does this and she's turning fucking 97 years old next month. And she's tiny, probably weighs 70 pounds. She eats very well and she needs to eat - we all do - but she says these things. I always get surly about stuff like that - I'm not going to comfort someone who says obviously ridiculous things, I'm not going to placate them, I'm not going to play into it.

And it is women who do it. I dislike gender stereotypes and even more I dislike gender-specific expectations that make it so women have to do things like pretend they don't need to eat food and men have to do things like pretend they don't have emotions.

Etc.

I was remembering, one time when I was about 10, when we were visiting my grandma, we went to this neat department store. My grandma picked up some game that I really wanted and I got excited, thinking she was buying it for us. Instead, she was buying it for my cousins who lived in the same city as she did. They saw her all the time, we saw her every few years. And now, they don't speak to her - there was some falling out many years ago - and she's moved here to be near the people she didn't buy the game for because the people she did buy the game for weren't taking care of her at all even though they were the closest. And I wonder why - maybe everyone does it, or maybe it just runs in my family - you do nice things for shitty people, and you (probably inadvertently) do shitty things to nice people, and even after all those nice things you did for the shitty people they're still not going to do any nice things for you. Life lesson.

I was going to go back on Wednesday and then come back here next week but... I've got a free pass for this whole week, basically, so why not stay here. My older sister is coming here on Friday, though, and I kind of wish she were coming sooner, because as soon as she gets here I'll be leaving.

Miss the puppy.

Have had weird dreams: pooped in a toilet with privacy issues (of course) at a party in a Scottish castle that had a stream running through it. A mystery was just about to start happening when the dream ended.