Saturday, April 4
Saturday, Apr. 04, 2015 - 22:28

Half marathon today, I came in last in my age group (4th of 4) and 28th of 33 overall. And my time wasn't even that bad! I mean, it wasn't that great, but it wasn't that bad. So what the crap? Clearly the field was filled with a bunch of jerks who trained all winter. Who's ready to speed through a half marathon in early April? Only jerks, that's who.

After the race I was going to finish putting in the edging and dig up some motherfucking creeping bellflowers, but then I decided, you know, fuck the creeping bellflowers, I'm going to buy some fucking Monsanto Roundup and put it on the leaves with a paintbrush. The fucking bellflowers know what you're going to do so the motherfuckers group up all around other plants, all wrapped around the roots of other plants. I dug up all of those bastards last year but this year we have more than ever coming up and I think it's from the seeds from the yard next door. The puppy's roommate is going to spray some shit over the fence sometime soon. I know! I think Roundup is awful! But you know what's worse than Roundup? Motherfucking creeping bellflowers. Please believe me.

I'm drinking a beer. I'm hoping that I'll wake up tomorrow morning all recovered and ready to run another 13 miles, but I'm pretty pooped right now. I am icing my knee.