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Dog College Here is a chapter from my new book, Dog College, starring my best dog friend, the puppy (referred to here as "Spot" to protect his identity.) Dog College Spot couldn't believe his eyes - his acceptance letter to Dog College had come in the mail! That mailman actually was a friend, not an enemy! Dog College! Spot would be starting Dog College! Spot ran around the house a few times as fast as he could, imagining the fun he would have at Dog College. He would meet so many dogs! Maybe he'd meet some hot bitches! In between classes they would race and wrestle out on the quad! And Spot had heard that the Dog College campus was teeming with squirrels! Squirrels! On the first day of classes, Spot's roommate helped him pack up his saddlebags with a notebook, a couple pens, a rawhide, and some poo bags (just in case). Spot loaded up into the car and went on a ride. He was nervous and had vomited up his food that morning, but he was excited. "Be a good boy," Spot's roommate said when they got to campus. Spot hesitated and then jumped out of the car. He tore around the grounds, unsure of what to sniff first. "Where's my classroom? Where's my classroom?" he yelled. Other dogs were doing the same thing. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Spot saw something. "Squirrel!" he shouted. He took off as fast as he could toward the tree he'd seen the squirrel in. He beat five other dogs there. The squirrel was long gone, but the dogs stood at the base of the tree barking and jumping. Spot ran up the base of the tree, up to a knob in the trunk, and paused for a couple seconds before hopping back down. "Whoa," a bassett hound said. "Whoa, man, how did you climb that tree?" Spot grinned. "I don't know, I just like to climb trees." A giant poodle on the outskirts of the group spoke up. "What are you, a cat?" The other dogs snickered. "No, I'm not a cat!" Spot said. "Fuck cats! I eat cats for breakfast!" "Ahem," someone behind Spot said. Spot turned around and came face to face with a surly old yellow lab. "What's your name?" the lab said to Spot. Spot told him. "Come with me," he said. Spot followed him into the administration building and down into the basement. They went into an office marked Dean of Students. "I'm sorry, sir," Spot said. "I wouldn't really eat a cat." "Profanity is not tolerated at Dog College," the lab said. He sat down behind a desk and began writing in a ledger. "You're a freshman, I assume? Well, I can be lenient this once, but I don't want to see you in here again, Spot. You be a good boy. Go to class, go on." "Thank you, sir," Spot said. He slinked out of the office, tail between his legs. He was shaking. "Oh man, that was scary," he thought. "I never want to see that dog again." He soon cheered up at the thought of his first class. Forestry! Spot was undecided about his major, but he was leaning towards Forestry. Trees were some of his favorite things. When his roommate picked him up that afternoon, he asked Spot how it went. "It was great!" Spot said. "I loved it! Can I go back tomorrow? Where are we going now? Are we going for a ride? Let's go to the park! I don't have any homework to do! Let's go do something!" Spit did not tell his roommate about his encounter with the Dean of Students. Nor did he tell him about what had happened at lunch. ***End of chapter 1***
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