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very dumb Goddamn procrastination! I'm tired and want to go to bed. It's hot and it's late and I'm sitting here working on this fucking job application. I'm so dumb! I can't even write anything. Blah blah blah, I've attached my writing samples but because I'm such a dipshit they're not professional at all - in fact they're embarrassing and stupid. But they were meant to be funny. Please let me know if you need any further information. I look forward to hearing from you. "Why are you the best candidate for the job?" Dude, I'm sure I'm not, not that I could even ever answer that question - I don't know who your other applicants are. I'm sure they're fantastically qualified and accomplished people who don't procrastinate or get writer's block. I am sabotaging myself because I'm afraid of success, is what I'm doing. In other news, yes, it sucked getting out of bed this morning.
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