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4th of July Diving hurts my shoulder. I swam around under the pontoon boat yesterday and it was super rad - water glowing green from the sunlight on the other side. An eagle flew over us and I thought it was going to poop on us - that's what birds flying overhead do, you know? It didn't. I'm sitting on the front porch of my parents' house. No one ever sits here, it's a completely underutilized area. There's a whole set of wicker furniture - love seat, two rocking chairs, and a table/footrest - but the cushions smelled like cat pee at one point so that turned everyone off, I guess. Once, someone came and stole all the wicker furniture, and no one noticed for a few days. It's pretty nice out here. Probably because no one else comes out here. I'm sitting here trying to work on a job application for an editor position. I'm trying to figure out which writing samples I should submit. They want three newspaper or magazine samples. I've submitted some articles to the running club newsletter over the years and I suppose those are the most suitable, but they're so dumb because I'm a huge moron. I mean, they're supposed to be funny, and now that I'm reading them they seem really unprofessional and embarrassing. I'm an idiot! I'll never get a job doing editing! And I don't deserve one, either. I deserve to have a shitty job that I don't like. I wanted to get a copy of "How to Write Anything" by Laura Brown and it was going to help me write a stinking cover letter (which I cannot do) and resume (which I also cannot do) but I went to some local bookstores and no one had it and now it's too late to order. The job application is supposed to be due Sunday but I'll submit on Monday but still, I ... Anyway, it's ironic that I'm seeking a job in writing and editing when I have such a hard time writing anything. I am terrible. I wish I could just laze around and not do anything, ever. I could be a stay-at-home grandma by now, if it weren't for the dissolution of traditional gender roles, and the shifting of our culture to accommodate our unstoppable profit-focused capitalism. :( My sister hasn't had her baby yet. I was going to head back tomorrow for a wedding but I think I'll stay here until Sunday.
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