Thursday, March 20
Thursday, Mar. 20, 2014 - 19:52

On Tim's birthday this year I brought flowers to work for myself, and then I went to a basketball game, and then went home and went to bed. In previous years I've made cupcakes. This morning I thought I should have sent him an email yesterday just saying happy birthday. But then I thought, he didn't do the same for me. I have to work hard at the Buddhist approach to this, disregarding any factors other than my wishing him well. It doesn't matter that he didn't acknowledge my birthday, what matters is that I wish him well. I won't send the email - its time has passed by now - but I feel a little bad that I didn't.

Work is so terrible, so overwhelming. I think today I've finally convinced them that they need to bring someone in right away. They thought my coworker and I could just unofficially cover everything. No. No.

I haven't had time to do anything, I haven't even had time to obsess about myself this week. My phone battery is happy these days because the whole day goes by and I haven't had a second to waste.

1. Platonic date friend. I have more things to think about but, as mentioned above, no time to do the thinking. Things are nice? It's nice? Or am I thinking too much?


2. Giant boobs. I continue to gain weight. I don't know why. I had an awful dream about aging - my arms were elephantine, enormous bags of sagging skin. I looked in the real mirror last night and my elbow is getting worrisome. And the boobs. I feel like an enormous bulging bulbous bouncing blob. It doesn't help that I've had to miss TRX twice this week because of my shoulder. Last week I think I was feeling okay, feeling like I was getting fit, but this week it's gone to shit. I don't know what's real.


3. Beauty boxes. No time to obsess about beauty boxes even! The Julep Maven reveal just opened and I didn't even realize it was that time of the month. And I don't like any of the colors this month.


4. Puppy. I mostly refer to him as "little pup" these days. He is not a puppy and he's not little - he's a fully grown dog - but compared to a human person he's a little pup. Little pup has been friendly and helpful but these days we are both busy with different things, we are both getting ready for spring in different ways. He continues to guard the yard against squirrels. The snow's mostly gone from the yard and the yard's mostly dried out a little, and the dog-mud-wrestling-bowl is turning back into a pre-summer lawn. The hole that he dug in the lawn late last fall has been filled in and covered with grass seed. I found a mini-frisbee in the flower beds last weekend but now it's disappeared.