Kingdoms and queens they all bow down to you
Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2014 - 21:23

I've been listening to my old radio shows lately, trying to maybe get inspired to do another one. It's funny, I can tell how I was feeling each day by the songs I was playing, and I can tell who I was thinking of. Right now I'm listening to the show I did two days after I saw Tim again for the first time - Tim, who I hadn't seen in seven years, was here in this town and was walking into the grocery store that I was walking out of. He was looking at me, and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and I kept on walking. I was surprised. I googled his name and there were two DUIs (ha) with his name and his town of residence, this town. It changed everything, knowing that he was here. And then two days after seeing him I did this radio show and I was the only one who knew what I was feeling. I mean I didn't know what I was feeling, it was very confusing or bemusing. But it was something.

Yeah, I opened with Pearl Jam, now I'm playing Nina Simone - Lilac Wine - and I'm going to play Long Long Long by Yim Yames in a couple songs. The Apples in Stereo. And I close the show with Poison, Ride the Wind. Ha. No one but me had any idea what those songs meant, although if Tim had been listening he may have known, which was probably what I was shooting for.

Today I found something I'd written a couple months after we found each other again - I didn't post it anywhere. It's more insightful than I remember ever being, especially at that time. I guess sometimes I can hide my ineptitude behind words.

I suppose I'm thinking of him a bit lately and wondering where and how he's living now, if he's still in Atlanta, if he's warm enough, if his car is still running or if he's abandoned it. I guess I always expect him to show up here someday, but I always expected that before, too, and it never happened.

It took a long, long, long time.

In other news. I've eaten about 10,000 calories today. My body thinks I'm training for another 50 or something. I can't feed my stomach enough. I had a peanut butter cup smoothie after TRX, which is about 5000 calories. At dinner I had many large wontons and half a pizza. I had to get some hot chocolate this afternoon because my stomach was so hungry.

I'm all obsessed with TRX right now. It's what's taking my mind off other things.