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- At the library with person. Stayed up until 4:30 - he stayed up later. I watched Before Sunrise this morning while he was still sleeping. He watched it a few days ago by himself - once he found out what it was about he refused to watch it with me, as the story is too similar to our own. There's a guy next to us burping and talking to himself: "Ehhh. Oh shit. Oh you poor shithead." He keeps spitting into the garbage too. He may have mental problems, or he may be a drunk, likely both. What can you do for people like this? If you can't reach their minds, what can you do? In the winter, make sure they have someplace warm to stay, make sure they have food - but you can't save them. But we can't turn our backs against them, can we? What kind of people would that make us? So, libraries and other public places, where they can spit and cuss and disgust other people. Lately now I'm very sensitive to the barrage of alcohol advertising - the prevalence of it (fucking everywhere), and the lifestyle that's portrayed (fun times, lots of friends, beautiful people, happiness - when the reality is barf and tears and irresponsibility and homelessness and DUIs and death). I've been upended. I don't have a drinking problem, but since we met again, since I realized that he actually does have a problem, I can't drink - I find myself disgusted by it, and I feel very weird when I do drink - guilty, almost. But meanwhile things are terribly lovely, spending this time with this person. Every once in a while he mentions leaving, although I don't know how he can, and I know any day he will, but I'm hoping that the Fates have my back here. Even this guy sitting next to us, burping and talking to himself - maybe my person sees this and thinks to himself that he doesn't want to turn out that way. I don't know. I'm procrastinating - I need to start grading.
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