|
|
|
talking in circles Humans - we're resilient creatures. We have to be, I suppose. Ain't no way I'd butcher a chicken, unless that's all there was to eat, and then I'd do it and I'd be fine. (I use that as my example of resilience in honor of my grandma, a sensitive soul who, after growing up a town kid, lived on the farm with my grandpa after they got married. She was a farm wife and farm wives do what farm wives have to do.) We're resilient. Time keeps running, time heals our wounds. That's why God invented time - to give us distance. Or... with time we regain the ability to function on a daily basis, and new thoughts fill our heads. Our brains, our large and cavernous brains, do not forget our sorrows but instead file them away somewhere so that we are surprised when they are retrieved intact, years and years later. I may have been able to successfully navigate today but I don't know about tomorrow or five years from now. And in fact I suspect, if things end abruptly and sadly this time, I will put it all away again and sit on it another seven years. I did it once, I can do it again. I am resilient but seven years later I spent two months crying as if it had happened recently. Crying, though, is good, and you could say that I've cried it all out - I had buried it, and I've been given this remarkable unexpected opportunity to deal with it and get over it. But twice in this lifetime we've managed to find each other, in very different corners of the globe. It's some kind of cosmic connection that I wouldn't believe in at all if I didn't believe in it. The first time we met it saved my life. And I've been asking myself why we found each other again now - why now? Sometimes I pray to God and the Fates and ask them what I'm supposed to do. They don't tell me but I know they're on my side and as long as I stay true to myself I'll be doing what I'm supposed to do.
|