|
|
|
- Walked home for the first time since I moved here - two miles - reminding myself of the things I will think fondly of when I look back on this strange phase of my life: waking up these days in the dark dark - waking up in the summer with the early early sunshine shining in at me; rediscovering my favorite band in the world, which I'd stopped listening to, really, when we lost touch with each other - he accused me a few weeks ago of not really being a fan, just a collector, and I was indignant at first but then I realized it was true, and then I realized I stopped being a fan when I lost him; teaching a class that I put tons and tons of work into last time, letting me put in considerably fewer tons of time this time - and my students are lovely and I'm lucky to have the chance to work with them; I can do whatever I want, physically - oh sure, go do a 118-mile ride without having any idea what we're doing and without even really training much for it - I can get up from my desk and walk home and my aching ankle reminds me to not take this mobility for granted. Etc. I live in a beautiful place and in a beautiful time. Also I am glad that I got to be friends again with the brown-eyed baker. Also I am glad that I have nothing to be ashamed of, that I can look in the mirror without flinching, that I can look other people in the eye without shame. Also I am glad that I've been able to cry about shit lately - maybe to excess but I'll get it all out and will be better. Sorry to be all crazy and grandiose lately. Will go back to whatever the crap there is to go back to soon enough. Shoot, what should I have for dinner?
|