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Wednesday 1. The rivers are getting higher and faster and louder, rushing madly to wherever it is they're going. Two trees had fallen across the creek last year - I've been excited about what would happen to them this spring and have been walking by them for weeks, hoping. Today, one was torn in half, its bottom part disappeared. The other, it's still there, but for how long? The small branch of the creek, my favorite, is deep and fast right now, its rocks blurred under all that water. 2. Last night I dreamed my house flooded - a river came through suddenly, higher and higher. Maybe I was living in a two-story house in Pennsylvania, maybe all my stuff was in the basement, maybe I had forgotten about all my stuff until I realized the water was getting so high my stuff - if I had any down there - would be ruined. The water got so high it came up through the floor of the second story and I realized I didn't have renters insurance. 3. The other night I was so tired, I'd gone to a concert, I'd had a busy weekend, I hadn't gotten enough sleep for a couple days. I went to sleep but was woken up at 2:30 by the arrival of two text messages - scared the crap out of me, for one thing, and confused the crap out of me, for another, and then I completely forgot about it for a couple days. The text messages were from a friend in Seattle telling me that two of her close friends had died within a week. Today I remembered, went to her myspace page and saw something I didn't want to see. I knew one of them, of course - he started working at the law firm the same day I started working there, from the same temp agency. He was a year younger than me. Time and distance are on my side, I guess, and I'm not as upset as I could be. I am untouched by it. And so I'm sitting here writing and thinking about him. He was a good guy, involved in lots of amazing things. I am sorry I'm not there, I'm sorry I'm untouched by it, I'm sorry I didn't get to know him better.
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