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- I went home for the weekend. Thursday night I packed my laptop into its bag and put it on my chair to load into my car the next day and that's where it sat until 5 minutes ago because I forgot it. I am behind on documenting the drudgery of my days and I'm behind on responding to things. It's May 5 today, it finally got up to 70 degrees here, it feels like the very edge of summer. I can imagine walking around outside without a jacket, my limbs surrounded and supported by warm air - on summer nights I will float downtown and float back home hours later in the darkness, features of the earth illuminated by the moon. College kids are finishing up and I am jealous - jealous! They are at an edge - their school year is ending, their summer is starting. I am jealous because nothing is ending for me, there are no edges in my future. Work is interminable and my officemate hums. I'm barely getting by and don't get paid enough to do what I'm doing. My neighbors in front of me are moving back home next month - they're moving back hoooooome. They can't get jobs here either, so they're moving back home. We're going to have a yard party before they leave. They ask me what I'm going to be doing, if I'm going to stay in this house. No way, not another winter in this house, but I can't leave now - my garden beds. I'm thinking of moving back home too but what about my running group? What about the races that happen around here every weekend starting in March? What about my radio show? What about my running friends and my radio friends and my other friends? Over the weekend I ran a race a couple states away, met up with some friends from Seattle - it was such a good time, it was so fun. I miss those people, I miss Seattle - I'm like a piece of paper, ripped up. I brought my Polaroid - the pictures from the weekend are beautiful.
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