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- A former coworker got back in touch. She thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. She thinks I'm greater than sliced bread. Everything I do is a work of art, everything I do is genius. She says I'm a female Indiana Jones. She says I'm living the dream. She says she is proud of me. I knew she idolized me, even back then, and it worried me, what would happen when I fell off her pedestal, or when she realized I wasn't even on the pedestal. Never happened, though, really. She disapproved of my affections for the cute boy - I should have listened to her, she had my best intentions in mind. She didn't think he was good enough for me. It's a burden, you know, when someone thinks so highly of you. You have to live up to this ideal or risk crushing them with disappointment. Maybe, in a way, what she did to me, I did to him - he was my favorite person, remember. I knew his faults, but still, he was my favorite person. Kevin told me he was an asshole but I refused to believe that - not an asshole. Not perfect, sure, but not an asshole. He didn't crush me, I crushed myself, and I crushed myself because I wanted to. I wonder all the time now about talent and skill. Some people have it and some people don't but that's not what makes any difference. Mediocrity prevails while talent sits in the corner.
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