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when you were young you were the king of carrot flowers Even if technically I'm wasting my day, as long as I can connect my hands to a keyboard I don't feel like it's wasted. Even to write about something as stupid as the rashes that have appeared above my elbows, both elbows, and to wonder in writing if they were there before and I didn't notice them or if they just appeared today and why would I get rashes on my elbows, both elbows, and why now, really? And it's not enough that I got to go outside last night to take pictures with my sister after an unexpected snowstorm and the snow was like the fake snow that they have in movies - sparkly flakes, sheets of snowflake, totally fake - except that now that I've seen snow like that in real life I guess Hollywood had it right. Not enough to have experienced it and not enough to have the pictures - the pictures won't show how glittery and flaky and fakey it was. It was the strangest snow I've ever seen so we went out to take pictures, down to the creek and the park. I used my Brownie with the two-year-old film... Friday night we went downtown. I haven't ever gone to First Friday here but from now on I'm going every month - it doesn't matter if you're alone, you can get your wine and cheese and crackers and look at artwork and you can leave whenever you feel like it. ...Seattle had First Thursday and once I went with Kevin to a rock and roll poster show at this amazing place - holy crap - and I'd wanted the person who was my music partner to go because he would have actually appreciated it and been as amazed as I was but oh no. It's December. The corridor between Thanksgiving and Christmas is my favorite time of year, if only for the snow and the sparkles. It's exciting. Christmas Day is always a dumb boring letdown but Christmas Eve is fabulous. Yesterday I looked for jobs in the Sunday classifieds and found nothing, nothing. I'm holding out for something and this is true of more than my job - I'm holding out for something and when I finally find it it will be great. It's hard to wait, though, and it's hard to use your time wisely while you're waiting because it's so easy to start thinking that this is it - this, and this sucks. But this is temporary, this phase. I should practice economy and resourcefulness, I should read books, I should get a job as a waitress - there's no reason not to, I'm smart as fuck and it's not like I have anything else to do. I never decided to stop my experiment with life experiences, so hey. I have research to do on worms and terrorism and law firms. Is there any couple cooler than Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore? No, there isn't. I'm going to go wander - this fresh snow, and right now it's sunny.
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