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Maybe possibly the last time I have to stay up all night working on something I could have done weeks ago. Maybe not. A. My last paper ever in my entire life (besides my thesis) is due tomorrow at 3 p.m. and I haven't even created a new Word document for the son of a bitch. Excuses: 1. I ran a race this weekend and was too tired afterwards to do anything except sit there and eat. 2. Etc. So I will be awake through the wee hours of the morning and probably won't be able to make myself be serious about it for a couple more hours. I am inexplicably indefensibly ostentatiously ridiculous. It does not help matters any that the professor the paper is for said I could turn it in on Wednesday if I needed to. "Don't tell me that!" I said. "Okay," she said, "then Tuesday at 3:00, no later." But the damage was already done. B. I was thinking about my entry for this month's exciting writing contest and can't decide: should I be a spy? Or an authoress? Or an adventurer? Or the mistress of a rich businessman who tragically dies of malaria and leaves me with a vast fortune and a dangerous mystery to solve? Also, should the setting change or stay in the same place? Also, I will have a gun, a tiny pistol disguised as a cigarette case. Also, everyone will either be falling in love with me or trying to kill me or both. But I am too wily! Or, perhaps, there shouldn't be tiny pistols or murder plots. Maybe instead there will be bicycles. I just don't know yet. C. I got another pint of So Delicious chocolate peanut butter frozen dairy-free dessert and I'm going to eat some right now. D. I just changed all the covers on my bed and want to get into it right now. See, alas, point A in this entry. I will not be getting into the bed quite yet. But oh how nice it will be.
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