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- Maybe I was being a baby last night and maybe I spent much of today moping but tomorrow I work and Sunday I recreate. rec-reate. Tonight I decided to force myself to get out and fucking do something so I went to An Inconvenient Truth and it was terribly terribly good and I am feeling better about being where I am after having seen the lovely sunset glowing up the big old brick buildings of this old west railroad town. I have also found that I can pick up some sort of wireless signal at home, even though my computer doesn't think so. Because here I am. I am going to hang up Christmas lights. It's funny, or it isn't funny, but there are all these terrible things, big things, there are all these big giant things going on in the world. Where were you on March 19, 2003? Where were you on August 29, 2005? I can tell you where I was and what I was doing, what I was concerned with, which was: myself and my dramas. I was upset about these larger things, I am incredibly pissed off about the idiocy of the current administration and I ... anyway, we are all just people, we are all just trying to live our lives, everyone, everywhere. And also, everyone, everywhere, we don't matter all that much. No one cares about my bruised heart because it doesn't matter. This I know. But still, it's the most important thing to me. I know about philosophy and ethics and personal development and science and music and current events and the economy and injustices and crime rates and family and spirituality and space and cycles of nature and weather and food and arts and entertainment and education and employment. I know there are big issues. And still the most important thing to me, the thing that kills me, it's such a small thing. But to me it's everything. That's probably not right but that's the way it is. I should shut up.
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