Cats and fleas, cats and fleas, poop and pee. Songs and politics. Feminism, etc.
Thursday, Jun. 09, 2005 - 22:11

(Now I don't want to offend anyone but Nina Simone's Lilac Wine is way better than Jeff Buckley's. Jeff Buckley's is good, but Nina Simone's is like, you know, totally.)

How familiar does this sound?: My roommate leaves and her cat has fleas. Oh my hasn't this happened before? Why yes it has, Miss Crazypants and her Idiot Feline Duo did the same thing!

It's terrible of me to compare the two, though. I'm sure my current roommate had no idea Buster the Cat had fleas when she left. He's just acquired them. Whereas Miss Crazypants's disgusting mops had fleas even before I ever moved in and she knew it and did nothing about it and then left for ten days and then came back and did nothing about it for a few more weeks.

Poor Buster, he only has one hind leg and so he can only scratch one side of his body. I'm sure he's miserable.

I have nothing to say. Goodnight.

OH NEVER MIND.

Did you know some people are really really upset about the way we go to the bathroom? They are, it's true, it's on the internet. Some people are really mad that we have to sit on toilets to go poop. They say we're designed to poop while squatting and having to sit up to poop is unnatural and unhealthy.

And then, this is outrageous, did you know that men - those fucking bastards, those goddamn motherfucking assholes - have been keeping the knowledge of how to pee standing up away from women? That's how they keep us down. They've taken away our ability to pee standing up, our natural god-given right to pee standing up, and have consequently made us what we are today: weak and unpowerful and always having to go inside to pee! It's terrible! It's an outrage! The army commissioned a study to figure out how to get women to pee standing up but they've kept the findings away from us because they know how powerful we would become!

Piss on men! Piss on them!

(I said I'd vote for any woman who ran for president but if it's Condoleeza Rice I'm sorry I'm not sure I would vote for her. Maybe she'd be okay without the snarky influence of her current boss, though, I don't know.)