The metaphor of the hole
Tuesday, Dec. 13, 2005 x 2 - 21:27

Okay and I want that last entry to go away so I'll write a new one to cover it up by saying that Kevin is becoming a really good friend and it gives me warm fuzzy feelings in my stomach, I am happy to know him.

A few months ago my friend the boy and I were talking/arguing... we were sort of arguing so it was probably a couple months ago, and I asked him what he got out of his friendships. (It was a loaded question because secretly I thought he had too many friends and didn't really know why and his obligations to them stressed him out and he ended up always flaking out on someone and pissing people off or having to hang out with people and never having downtime, never having time to himself so he'd hang out with people when he wasn't in the mood and he'd get annoyed. So I asked him what he got out of it because I wanted him to think about it.) A week or two after that he asked me, what do I get out of my friendships, and I said, I don't have any friends. And he said, Hmm, curious. (It was, I'm sure, a loaded question on his part because he wanted me to think about it, I don't have any friends, why not, maybe I could get something out of it.) (You see why we're so weird and weirdly good for each other.)

Anyway tonight I realized that, at the time, it was true, I had no friends other than him, but now it's not true, I have quite a few friends here and they're getting to be better and better friends.

And that's something I've learned from my friend the boy. And meanwhile yes he has learned something from me and he's keeping to himself much more these days, which is good for him but bad for selfish people like me. But that's okay, I'll survive.

Kevin and I are maybe going to a movie tomorrow. Odd Rob has decided to start exchanging music with me and another person who knew the Flaming Lips long ago. There's the girl I like, the crazy people at work, the girl I go to shows with, my roommates, a guy from high school who I will call back tomorrow, etc. There are many good people around me these days.