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Please read more about my melodramatic life. Hey, maybe I'll update again tonight before I go to bed! God, am I a fucking drama queen now or what, here goes my third THIRD entry of the day. Landlord was supposed to come fix the fucking toilet. He didn't. Roommate has left to go see her friend die. I know the friend, I like the friend, I'm sorry she's dying, but honestly completely honestly I'm just glad my roommate is gone for a while. I went to the MLIS orientation tonight and it confirmed what I've been feeling the past few days: I'm not ready for that, I need to finish my previously-begun degree first. And I've decided I will only finish that degree if I can do it where I did my undergrad, with my favorite professor there. And only if he has some practical useful project for me to do for my thesis, which of course he does have because that's the way he is, practical. Start over on that, throw out my old stupid useless piece of shit halfway-finished thesis, and get on with my stupid life. Cute boy: fuck boys, those motherfuckers. And watch me, I'm going to be the one to break the fucking ice and I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. He should have to call me. I'm stubborn and uncommunicative as hell - how bad is it that I'm the one always making the first move? WHY? HERE, LET ME ROLL OVER SO YOU CAN SHIT ON ME AGAIN, BE A FUCKHEAD, IT'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING PUSHOVER, I'M NICE. HOWEVER. It's terrible, I am so close to being through with the whole thing BUT I CAN'T BE AN ASSHOLE. Stubbornness can be a STUPID STUPID WASTE OF TIME. It's STUPID. The whole entire thing is STUPID and childish and stupid. Other people can be assholes, I can't be. So fine motherfucker I'll call you. IN OTHER NEWS I think my boss has assigned me to a case. This is very good for my job security. However, and this is ironically hilarious, I think it's a case that belonged to Mr. Cute Fuckhead Boy and she pulled him off of it because he's been such a flake. I always pick the guys that need work. And Cute Boy why were you looking at me so sadly, why do you do things and remember things and why do you make me think you think highly of me and then the next minute you pull asshole shit like you did last night? Why were you looking at me today so sadly and longingly? Why are you looking at schools in places I've mentioned moving to? What the fuck are you doing? Because we are temporary, don't make me think that you're thinking it could be permanent because I know that's not going to happen, you'll just fool me again.
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