I didn't mean to like memorialize the day or whatever but, oh well, I suppose it's timely.
Monday, Aug. 22, 2005 - 19:10

Seven years ago I got married. I've been meaning to email Mr. Pooh for like the last month or more but I've just never gotten around to it, and now I can't because it'll seem like I'm being sentimental or weird or something.

Last week at dinner I said to my friend the cute boy at work "So you know I've been married" and it was something we hadn't talked about yet and it had become sort of an issue just because we hadn't talked about it. He'd heard, I think he found out at the bar that one night, but I'd wanted to tell him myself. It's not a weird issue with me, I'm perfectly fine talking about it, but it just never came up and so it had, by never coming up, become an issue. So at dinner I just said "So you know I've been married" and then we talked about it and later he said that he really liked talking, that he was really glad I'd just come out and said it like that.

I didn't really talk about it in this diary while it was going on because it was very difficult and honestly even though I write in here all the time and I've been writing here almost six years I keep a lot to myself and it just seemed too real and personal and whatever to talk about. Also, Mr. Pooh used to read this, and now I think he doesn't, and so I can be more open. If he ever occasionally stops by, that's fine. Hello if you do, but don't do it regularly.

If anyone would like to know anything, go ahead and ask. I might not answer, though. Or I might, you never know.

But I've been able to live my life now and it's super and although I haven't necessarily always been "happy" at least I've been free and living my own life and my god I'd never give that up.

And people are usually surprised to hear that I've been married, and someone I met a few months ago told me that people who have been divorced have some sort of aura about them, the divorced aura, and I don't have that. And that's one of the nicest things I've heard about myself.

And I hope and think that Mr. Pooh is free and living his life like I am, and it's been a couple months since we've talked which is a long time now and I've been meaning to write, like I said.

Also, now that I'm getting you caught up on my life, Miss Kitty was our cat that we had together and when she died a year after we broke up it was also very symbolic, like it was the last thing we had together, the last thing we really had to talk about. I miss her, I loved her, she was such a nice soft funny cat (and so talented). And I'm still not quite ready to replace her, but someday I'll get another cat.

And when I was about to get into the moving van to drive away from Mr. Pooh and our life together, which was the saddest thing I've ever done, Mr. Pooh and I were crying and we hugged and said we loved each other and I'm happy that we had that moment. It was really quite beautiful.

So now I've told you this, and I've told you before too, haven't I? And, so, now I'm going to eat some cereal. I just got up from a nap, listening to the new Sleater-Kinney which is incredible and good for taking naps to, but I'm weird.