An entry outlining my newly-conceived Crapwriters group, appended with a poem commenting on the modern plight of existentialism in Bush's America.
Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005 - 15:07

This is why I need a genius club. We would meet once a week to have genius writing club meetings at a coffee shop, and then we would all go to the Sunset, or the Tractor, or the Crocodile or Neumo's or wherever, to see bands we want to see. If we got bored or tired we would all leave and our departure would leave a sad void in the room, or bar, or venue or wherever.

We would start a newsletter, or a magazine, or a literary journal, or we would put our work into existing publications, and we would have fans and followers and people would look forward to reading the fruits of our prolific vanguardian literary wombs.

We would write a lot. Maybe one or two of us would be poets, but only one or two, and there would be no science fiction, or at least no alien science fiction, just because I don't like it, not that I've ever read it. Mostly we'd write a bunch of vague unpretentious crap, and we'd avoid metaphor like the plague because I hate metaphor, or any use would be totally ironical. Also, this stance is made even more totally ironical by the fact that you really can't avoid metaphorical language, and I know that. See how ironical I'm being? Even twice as much as that.

Also, we wouldn't use symbolism either, because I hate that too. No one will be able to say "What is the role of Nature in this story?" after reading any of our works. Also, if any critics said they didn't like our writing, we'd: 1. laugh at them, because we wouldn't give a flying fuck about the critics, and 2. beat them up.

The reason I want this is because there are writer's groups around here but they're not for me. They're either touchy-feely feel-good we're-Writers oh-the-Craft groups, or poetry groups (maybe those two are the same (sorry)), or science fiction groups, or romance groups, or sexplicit groups.

I will never call it "the craft".

I want to start an I Write Crap group ('crap' being just a generic word for 'stuff'), Crapwriters, where we just sit around and write a bunch of crap and not pretend it's good and not pretend the others are writing good stuff either. And then we'd go to shows.

Now, here's a poem:

Writing poems is hard,
That's why I'm not a bard.
I know they shouldn't rhyme
And they should be about the grime
and toil of modern life
and packed totally full of strife
and anguish and agony!
But I write poems about
writing poems about stuff
and my lines are full of fluff
like these:
tra la la
tra la la
la
la
dee da...
Ah I'm tired, grr.