Twenty things. Not twenty things at all.
Wednesday, Feb. 02, 2005 - 19:52

1. I am reading a book about diaries. I probably already told you that.

2. Last night I had linguini and shrimp and brocolli and peas and garlic and olive oil and fresh ground pepper and salt and diced tomato, although the tomato didn't get cooked. Perhaps you think brocolli and peas clash. They do, it's true, but I wanted them both.

2a. Turns out, broccoli doesn't spell itself the way I think it should.

3. After work today I tried to go shopping but failed. Instead all I bought was dinner at Johnny Rockets.

4. I wondered, looking around at all the males in Johnny Rockets, if it was a gay fastfood chain. You know, JOHNNY, ROCKETS, you know what I mean? and all the employees were boys and all the other customers were males and I thought, oh no, what if this is a men-only restaurant and I didn't know that and so I'm sitting here like an idiot. But then I saw another girl, and then I saw a girl getting ready to start her shift there, so I felt better.

5. I went to Johnny Rockets because a. I was hungry, b. it was the only place that looked like it would be okay to eat at alone, c. it was cheaper than the other places and I only had $8 in cash, and d. it was there. I had a BLT and it was delicious, the most delicious BLT I ever had.

6. I ended up paying with a credit card anyway. I also wanted to get a milkshake, but I've been pigging out on M&Ms at work lately, and I do have to fit into my stupid size 6 pants, you know.

7. All I want are some damn khakis and gray pants, and I want pockets on the butt. WHAT'S SO DIFFICULT ABOUT THAT? There are stores all over the place - J. Crew, the Gap, Old Navy, Nordstrom, many more, even bizarro Urban Outfitters - and you'd think I'd be able to find a simple pair of khakis, right, but I can't. And I don't want the hidden slit pockets, I want real pockets, or pockets with ..... lids. Closing pockets, whatever. You know what I mean!

8. After the summer I needed some new deoderant so I switched from Tom's of Maine natural deoderant, which made my armpits smell like a delicious baby bottom despite all my sweaty toil in the dirt, to another natural deoderant which will remain nameless because I have nothing nice to say about it. These days I'm always stinky, no matter what I do, and I'm not even shovelling shit anymore. Hey, maybe this deoderant is pitout-scented. NEEDLESS TO SAY I will be switching back to Tom's of Maine as soon as reasonably possible, i.e. in a few months when this stupid tube of stupid deoderant is gone, because I'm too stupid frugal to just throw the stupid stuff out.

9. I am going to start moving this weekend!

10. At work there are two new people who will be doing the same thing as me, i.e. be a litigations document clerk, except they applied for the job, which means, one would assume, that they wanted the job. I didn't apply, I'm through a temp agency. They want to go to law school. They are ambitious, and they are annoying. Damn I'm glad I'm not annoying like them. I'm annoying the opposite way, probably: those stupid temps, they don't give a fuck. But I'm glad I don't give a fuck. If I did I'd be very unhappy with myself. I HATE SUCK UPS, AND I HATE KNOW-IT-ALLS. I also hate fakes, and I hate crows. Those have nothing to do with this, but I just thought I'd list all the other things I hate.

11. I also hate having to get out of the shower in the middle of your shower because you've forgotten something, like your special conditioner, or your razor, or whatever, and so you have to get out, dripping, of your nice hot shower into the stupid cold uncomfortable world that's hostile to your steamy nakedness, and you drip all over and it's just not even worth it.

12. We will be eating carrot cake at work on Friday.

13. I decided last night that I'm experiencing a hormonal swing often described as being "premenstrual". I decided this because a. I've been eating all the chocolate I can get my hands on, and b. I've been crying at night more than normal, like CRY-crying, like WAH WAH WAH, and about dumb things too that normally wouldn't make me cry, or at least wouldn't make me WAH WAH cry. And then this morning I woke up with a slight cramp sensation, which confirmed my suspicions.

14. I could go on all night like this, people.

15. I won't though, that's totally boring.

16. I will get my stupid Supergold back SOON, BUT I AM WAITING ON SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN -1 DAY.

17. I fell asleep last night with the radio on. I do that sometimes when I can't go to sleep; having music on can put me in a trance. Usually I wake up a couple hours later and turn the stereo off, but I didn't wake up until 5 this morning. It was odd.

18. I got up and went to the bathroom and the bathroom was trashed: one sock on the floor, the bathmat wadded up into a wet ball in the corner, a hair straightener in the sink. I got back tonight and the hair straightener has been put away.

19. Did I mention that I'm moving soon?

20. Did you know that I'm just doing all this for the experience? I don't want to be a fucking lawyer OR a paralegal, I don't care if you think my shoes are too scuffed up, I don't care if things are fucked up, I just laugh at them and then write about them, or else I keep them in my head to write about at a later date. I AM A WRITER, I like to say sometimes. I'm just using you for the experience. I'm using my job, I'm using my roommate, I'm using this city, everything, I suck it all up for my own personal benefit.