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- I am at a very unique point in my life, one that is probably envied by women all over the world, which is: right now I weigh less and am taller than it says on my driver's license. Or I could also say this: I am at a very unique point in my life, one that is probably envied by women all over the world, which is: right now I weigh less than I did when I graduated from high school. Taller, too. Or I could say this: yesterday at work I was having problems. The top of my shorts was below my underwear, which means that either my underwear was too big or my shorts were too big and were falling down. Turns out, it was both. These are a few ways to introduce something I've thought about talking about for a while. I'm not sure if I'm going to today though. We'll see what happens. First I'll talk about my height. I always thought I was 5'5" (roughly equivalent to 349 cm, for the Canadians) (I totally made that up). My older sister is shorter than me, though, and on her license it says she's 5'6", and I saw that and was all, dude, what the fuck? Then I started wondering if maybe I'm taller than I thought, so I measured myself a few weeks ago, and lo and behold I'm five-six-and-a-half, which is very very tall. And.... okay,,,,, um,,,,,,, okay,,,,, I sort of started eating less for a while, not really on purpose, I think, but, well, okay, after I got back from Australia in February I weighed..... I hate this because it's weird....... okay, I weighed 137 pounds ( = 98 kilos) and I thought that was fine, that 135 would be like my ideal weight or whatever. But then like a month ago I weighed myself and all of a sudden without even really meaning to I weighed I think 133. But the thing is, it wasn't good enough, so I lowered the number in my head to 130, 130 would be my ideal weight. But then I lowered it again, and decided that 125 would be my ideal weight. But even though the number on the scale has gone down, I still look the same to me, which has me worried. I'll get to 125, and that won't be good enough, so I'll lower the number in my head to 120, and then 115, and that's just crazy. There's really no point to writing about this. It's just something that's been going on and I haven't written about it here and I've thought about doing that. This morning I weighed 128, and it's weird to put that here, to tell people I don't even know how much I weigh. People always think I weigh less than I do, not that I ever tell people how much I weigh, but like when I go to the doctor's office and they weigh me with the sliding weight doctor scale thing, they always start out way too low, and they always say "Oh.... oh...." when it keeps having to go up. I'm full of lead, I guess, which can't be true, because I can float on my back in the water without moving a muscle. But I've stopped not eating, and I've still been losing weight, but I think this is the good kind of weight loss, lost through sweat, jogging, working, swimming, and not through starving. I never starved myself, though. I don't have enough self-control for that. Blah blah. There. I talked about it. I was worried about this for a while, like a month ago, but I think I'm okay now, although still the number in my head is 125. If I lower it again then I'll be worried, but I haven't, so whatever. The end.
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