An entry all about my favorite band in the world
Sunday, Jun. 08, 2003 - 23:05

I was in the Denver airport thinking about my top secret online diary (I mean really, what else is there to think about) when it occurred to me that perhaps one or two of the people who happen upon this online haven of mine (I tried to think of something better to describe it, something juicier, but "haven of mine" is the best I could do) aren't all that familiar with my favorite band in the world, and, even worse, maybe one or two of them are familiar with my favorite band in the world but, due to some chemical imbalance or freaky mutation, aren't entirely fond of them.

And I know I'm an intimidating and imposing mysterious presence, and consequently no one has ever signed the guestbook saying, "Um, what's the big deal?" because they're afraid I'd humiliate and demean them in some derisive sarcastic entry.

And so in the interest of public service and the greater good and all that is decent in the world, and because I'm such a nice person, I have devised the following handy guide to my favorite band in the world. And because I am so creative and original, I have decided to call it

1. The band. The band is currently composed of roughly five and a half members.
The lead singer, Eddie Vedder, is the most well-known member of the band, as lead singers tend to be. Eddie is famous for his lovely hands (one of which I've touched, and I can assure you that the fame is well deserved) and chiseled cheekbones. And also many people seem to have strong opinions about his hair (which is currently short).
My friend Mike McCready plays guitar, and if you're lucky enough to sit near him at a show, he'll probably point at you or hit you twice with his picks, neither of which you'll catch. Mike interacts with the crowd all the time and is very animated, except during his solos, when he goes into a trance.
Jeff Ament is actually the best looking member of the band, although not everyone is aware of this, since many seem to think Eddie is. But nope, it's Jeff. Jeff plays the bass and likes to jump around and wear hats.
Stone Gossard plays the rhythm guitar and he's famous for his plaid pants and often-imitated duck walk. Stone often faces the back of the stage, giving the audience a good view of his wiggling butt.
Matt Cameron has been the drummer for the last two records and the last three tours. Matt is the creator of that most beautiful of songs "You Are", and just for that he kicks ass.
Boom... I don't know if he's quite a member of the band or not. Eddie met him on some Hawaiian island and now he's touring with them, playing the Hammond B3. Boom is the luckiest guy in the world, and, judging from the smile plastered on his face at every concert, he knows it.

2. The music. So you have Eddie's voice, which I love, and three guitars, and a bass, and drums, and keyboard, and they come together to make Pearl Jamful noise, and that's the first reason to love a band.
The lyrics are thought-provoking and real and meaningful. Consider: "I never knew soap made you taller", "I want for to get right", "You are, you are a furry thing", "Covered with leather but it wasn't tight", "Where's Mike McCready? My god, he's been ate!"
There have been seven studio albums so far, and with each album the band has evolved and pushed forward. And some people don't like that, but really, a band can't keep making the same music. They have to move forward, which is what Pearl Jam has done.

3. Other stuff. People say it's "all about the music", but of course it's not. Even an anti-image is an image. And I have to say that I wouldn't like Pearl Jam nearly as much as I do if they were all leather-clad jewelry-laden makeup-wearing rock star types. Also, they are and have always been socially and politically conscious, and even if I don't agree with everything they say or are involved in, I really appreciate the fact that they are trying to make a difference. Stone helps build houses on reservations. Jeff's trying to get a skateboard park in Missoula. Oh, and don't forget everyone's friend Ticketmaster. Etc.

4. Variety is the spice of life. (Someone said this to me at the Mountain View show, implying that I was a little too Pearl Jam crazed.) But Pearl Jam introduces you to other music, such as Neil Young, the La's, Split Enz, Victoria Williams, Hunters and Collectors, English Beat, Fugazi, Sonic Youth, Sleater-Kinney, the Clash, the Who, Dead Moon, Johnny Marr, Betchadupa, Sigur Ros, Cat Power, Supersuckers, um, um, and a lot more. And there's all the Pearl Jam side projects too, like Three Fish and Brad and Wellwater Conspiracy and the Rockfords.
Anyway, yes, I listen to other stuff. I know the words to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. How many people can say that? But Pearl Jam is my favorite.

5. Live shows. Pearl Jam concerts are fun. I saw them 14 times on this tour, 8 in Australia and 6 in the U.S. My dad asked me, "Doesn't that get a little repetitive?" but it doesn't. They change the setlist every night, and they play their songs differently every night. Bushleaguer in Mountain View had a little jam at the end of it, for example, and I'd never heard them do that before. Each show is unique, each show is fantastic. If I hadn't gone to the San Diego show I wouldn't have seen Eddie do "Arc". And if I hadn't gone to the Missoula show I wouldn't have been able to participate in the numerous spontaneous Jeff chants. And if I hadn't gone to the Las Vegas show I wouldn't have seen Ann and Nancy Wilson come out for the last song. And if I hadn't gone to the second Irvine show I wouldn't have seen Jack Irons come out and play for one song.
It's a slippery slope. If I think about it too much, I'll go crazy thinking about all the other shows I'm missing out on. There are people who are going to every show. There's some guy, maybe more than one, who hasn't missed a show since 1998.
Maybe that's a little much. But still. Pearl Jam shows are fun.

6. Here's what a Pearl Jam concert is like: You go to your seat early and Eddie comes out to play one or two songs by himself for you and the twenty other people who are in their seats this early. Then the opening band comes on and they're good and you like them and you clap and you soon become enamored with them, whether it's Johnny Marr or Betchadupa or, most recently, Idlewild. Then they leave and you run out to go pee and to buy a three dollar bottle of water. You stand in the concessions line way too long because of all the people buying hot dogs and nachos and beers from superslow taps and all you want is a stinking bottle of water (which, if you're in the U.S., they pour into a paper cup so you can't bonk someone on the head with it or something).
Then you go back to your seat and watch the crew set up the stage and the lady in the sweatshirt checking the microphones saying "eh heyochey eh eh hu" and you wonder what the fuck she's talking about and why "check 1 2" wouldn't work. Then you talk to the people next to you and find out where they're from and whether they've seen Pearl Jam before. Maybe it's Jed and Kelly--Jed's from Wisconsin (hey, like Brad, who you met in Sydney) and Kelly's from somewhere else and they met at college in Indiana? and they saved up $6000 so they could follow Pearl Jam around to 15 shows. Or maybe you're next to Erin, who's at the show alone, who saw them in 1995 when she was 15 but who hasn't really been into them much lately (although she'll change her mind tonight and will ask you how to get a ticket to tomorrow night's show). Or maybe you're next to a bunch of people wearing Coca Cola backstage passes who don't really want to be there but are because they got Coca Cola backstage passes. Those people are annoying. Or maybe you're next to a blonde L.A. girl whose boots you admire but who you assume has no idea where she is, she's just on a date with someone, and you figure she'll be bored and complaining the whole time, but no, she actually knows all the songs, and once again you learn that lesson about assumptions. Hopefully you're next to people who are happy and excited to be there, and those people are fun.
The lights go down and the band comes out and they start playing and you jump up and down and clap and (if you're feeling boisterous) hoot and holler, and you're surprised by how good they sound and how much fun they seem to be having. Then the band goes away and you clap and stomp and then they come back and play and then they leave and come back and this happens a few times and before you know it it's 11:30 or midnight or 12:15 and the lights come on and "Straight to Hell" by the Clash starts playing and you stand there a while singing along and hitting your empty water bottle on the seat in front of you in time to the music (if you're in a place where they let you have a water bottle). And then you reluctantly join the masses streaming out and you smile when you hear people say, "Wow, that was the best concert I've ever been to," and you laugh at the person who says, "That sucked."

There you go. That's Pearl Jam. There's a lot more, but this is too long already.

(Oh, and if you happen to have lost a little earring or necklace pendant at the Mountain View show, know that it's in a good home. I won't give it back, though, because I had it in my pocket at a bunch of other shows and now it's like a souvenir or something.)