Take a walk in the park, shit yeah
Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 12:24

This morning I was out jogging by the ocean listening to Sonic Youth--I find Daydream Nation to be a really great album to listen to while running--and in fact I can't really listen to it and sit still anyway--when I was struck by a very unique question. You know all those stupid "introspective" questions that you have to answer when you go to retarded fuzzy-feeling retreats and crap, like "if you could be a tree, what kind would you be?" or "describe yourself using three adjectives that start with the same letter as your name" and crap like that? Okay, I thought of a good one sort of like those, and I don't think it's ever been asked. At least, no one's ever asked me. Of course it's been asked, though. But I've never heard it.

Would you rather be a bird or a fish? (or maybe a dolphin. I think I'd rather be a dolphin than a fish. I hate fish.) Would you rather be a bird or an aquatic creature? Would you rather be able to fly in the sky or swim in the sea?

I don't know which I'd rather be, because I think it would pretty much be the same. I've had dreams about flying, and I've had dreams about being able to breathe underwater.

Maybe I'd like to be a flying fish.

So anyway, jog jog jog, I'm going along, thinking about deep burning philosophical questions, and then sonofabitch! my ankle starts hurting AGAIN. But this is a different part, this is the inside, sort of above the ankle, and before it was the outside.

So this is what's going on, I think. My tendons and muscles, when I started jogging again, were like "What the fuck is she doing? Jogging? Okay, we've seen this before, she'll stop after a week, and besides that she won't really run when she goes anyway." But then a couple weeks went by and it became apparent to them that I wasn't going to stop, and that I was actually RUNNING when I went out, so then some of them decided to protest. "Ha ha," they said, "that'll teach her. She'll be laid up for a week or two and then she'll forget all about jogging." It worked for a while, because I couldn't jog for a couple weeks, but then I started going out again and they were like "That bitch! What the fuck, dude?" and so then some different ones have now decided to go on strike.

Well screw you, soft tissues! Ice + ibuprofen means I'm still going!

p.s. I was diarying around this morning and saw a banner ad right after I'd clicked to go somewhere else, and it said "the first rule of fart club" and I didn't see anything else because the page changed, but I thought it was so funny I laughed a loud bellowing laugh for like five minutes, maybe even six. Next time I see that banner ad, if I ever see it again, I'll laugh again and then I'll click on it. The first rule of fart club! Shit, man. Genius.