9 things to think about
Tuesday, June 25, 2002 - 10:30

1. People who talk a lot don't often have anything of importance to say, they just say the same things and tell the same stories over and over.

2. I saw another anatomically correct automobile this weekend. A Jeep with a ballsac. No penis or poophole, though. Where do you think a penis would go? By the balls, or at the front? If it went in the front, you could make jokes when you're tailgating someone about fucking them up the ass. That would be really funny, ha ha. If I decided to make a car anatomically correct, but as a girl car, I could stuff its Le Bra. I could paint the front bumper red to make it look like lipstick. I could draw a picture of a vagina on the back. Maybe one of the male cars would want to mate with my car. Maybe that way I could get a free car if my girl car gave birth.

3. I once figured out that I'm cautious. I have now figured out that I'm sensitive, both physically and emotionally. Physically, I'm very ticklish, I don't like stinky breath or stinky butts, and I'm allergic to Bandaids. Emotionally, I'm always getting my feelings hurt by stupid things that normal people wouldn't even notice. So there, now I have two adjectives to describe myself.

4. If I don't write a book, I'll die. I wish I could hook up the computer to my brain so that I could just think the book instead of writing it. That way, I could be the laziest author to ever live. I bet the most interesting books written that way would be by crazy people. I'm practically insane, so mine would be sort of good.

5. I'm going to have to limit my recreational computer time to like five hours a week, or else I won't get anything at all done this summer.

6. Mr. Pooh bought a Play Station 2 yesterday. If the games didn't give me a headache, that could be a very bad thing for me. There's going to be a Sims for PS2. Luckily it's not out yet, so I'm safe for a while.

7. There was a young hawk on the fence of my courtyard this morning eating a squirrel. It was icky.

8. I was sitting watching my clothes go around and around in one of the front loading washers, and then I saw a little moth that was stuck inside. It was on a dry spot on the door, and if it had stayed there it probably would have survived the cycle, but it decided to fly onto the wet pile of clothes that then started spinning around. Poor little bastard.

9. Miss Kitty is a pervert who likes to watch people having sex. Then she attacks their feet.