Deconstructing crap
Tuesday, March 5, 2002 - 15:51

Ooh, the internet is such a wonderful source of reliable information.

That was intended to be sarcastic. The internet is full of crap. Especially online news pages, like CNN.com. They post a lot of poorly developed reports, rumors, and speculation -- maybe because they think the internet isn't permanent, and so they aren't bound to the same journalistic standards as print journalists.

Here's part of a story I just read:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Rebecca Carter were married Saturday at his home in Houston after a corporate courtship that began with the blessing of the firm's board of directors, his spokeswoman said.

The bride and groom, who began dating in March 1998 after their divorces a year earlier.

The relationship had corporate roots.

"I would like to ask Rebecca Carter out on a date but I wanted to make sure it's all right with all of you," Skilling told Enron's board of directors in the spring of 1998, according to Judy Leon, his spokeswoman.

"Well, the only thing wrong here is that she's going to turn you down," cracked one of the board members, Leon said.

Okay, first of all, the second paragraph isn't even a sentence. It's just a subject and a relative clause. They forgot to finish the main clause.

Second, the third paragraph is a tad undeveloped. It looks like what I write in outlines for papers.

Third, the fourth and fifth paragraphs are presented as if the reporter actually heard these quotes. But he didn't. Judy Leon told him about it.

Reporter: "Judy Leon, how did these two crazy executives begin dating?"

Judy Leon: "Well, reporter, Mr. Skilling told Enron's board of directors in the spring of 1998, 'I would like to ask...'..."

In conclusion, that was a dumb story and I'd be embarrassed if I'd written it and it got posted on the web and people read it and thought it was dumb and one of them wrote about it in her online journal and said how dumb it was.