A stroll down memory lane
Rursday, December 06, 2001 x 2 - 19:10

I have been looking through my old Word documents at things I wrote for scholarships during college, and I am absolutely chagrined by what I wrote. I was so pompous and embarassingly informal. I can't believe I actually got these scholarships. Here are some things I wrote:

"Single men in possession of a good fortune aren�t necessarily in want of a wife." (This is an allusion to the beginning of Pride and Prejudice. I was writing about how everyone is an individual and how prejudice = bad. Two sentences before this I misspelled a word! My God, didn't I proofread? I bet the people who read this essay didn't even get the Pride and Prejudice thing. They probably thought "what the hell is this supposed to mean?" when they read it.)

"Describing my long-term goals now isn�t like writing a seventh-grade paper on what I want to be when I grow up, because one of these days I am going to have to face the truth: I am grown up." (Aah! Why did I have to be so intimate with my audience? In this essay, I misspelled the word that 'freptology' stands for! Damn.)

"You wouldn�t believe me if I told you, but I could write like the wind blows." (This, obviously, is an allusion to Forrest Gump. This was an essay about how stupid and inarticulate I've gotten. Why was I so lame? Why?)

And then this, a thank you letter for a scholarship that I got:

April 21, 1997

503 M*** Hall
M*****, ** 12345

B****** Family
c/o James Something
Bank of Dumbdumb
D*****, ** 12346

Dear B****** Family or James,
I would like to sincerely thank you for the scholarship. Because I�m one of the getters. Thanks.

Bye-bye,
Cleodora le Peu

That was, hopefully, just a draft of the letter that I hopefully finished and sent to the lovely rich B****** family who gave me money.

I have a scary habit of saving rough drafts and then forgetting if I ever finished them. Here's a nother example of that, from an essay I had to write to renew a scholarship for the next year. I was writing about procrastination, and this is my conclusion: "I realize this essay might disturb you because it is so dumb. You will probably think, "My God! She doesn�t use her time wisely. Is she deserving of this scholarship?" I can answer that. No, I�m not. I�m stupid." I sincerely hope that I didn't submit this essay with this ending.

And a nother letter to a scholarship donor:

October 24, 1998

510 E** Ave. #A
M*****, ** 12345

Dear Mr. S******,

That's all I wrote.

I am chagrined, deeply, mortally chagrined. I don't know why I ever thought I should go to graduate school, because I apparently knew I was a moron four years ago.