Big dumb rant, inspired in part by Valerian's entry, but don't blame her, it ain't her fault
Friday, September 28, 2001 x 2 - 23:03

I don't know about those diary review things. They seem incredibly pompous to me. Like they deduct points from you and say "your not very good at grammar or spelling". (I made that example up. A mistake I saw them make was an its/it's mistake, which isn't nearly as heinous as your/you're.) And they don't like certain layouts, but, ahem, not everyone likes theirs. Colored scroll bars are neat, but I don't think they're that spectacular. And how can they rate the content of someone's diary? "I'd recommend more introspection and writing more about feelings."

There are many pompous people on dairyland. Screw em, I say. They can suck my big fat dick.

In other news, Colin Firth is such a hottie.

In related news, I've decided to reread Pride and Prejudice, even though I haven't finished rereading the fourth Harry Potter (I did reread the first three though, and I would recommend rereading them to all dumb dumbs like me cuz we miss a lot and r 2 dumm LOL!) and even though I have more than enough to read now that school has started again damn it! ("I'd recommend controlling your run-on sentences, for Pete's sake. Geez, they're hard to read.")

In other news, I'm having an incredibly hard time writing an email to a professor at school who is doing the hiring for a department position that I want. The application process is not formal, and she just said to write her a note saying why I'd be a good candidate. All I really have to say is something like, "hi, I'm interested in the position, like I told you in person on Thursday. I have lots of experience with databases. I could give you my resume if you want." Something like that, but more eloquent, you know? I hate email. That's how that whole retarded controversy from earlier this week started, with a stupid email.

You know, if there's something wrong with the way this diary looks, like if it doesn't load right for you or you can't see something, let me know. But if you don't like what I write (and I know I start going crazy sometimes and I get all rambly and maybe too sarcastic for other people to get, and of course most of the stuff I write is idiotic boring crap -- now this parenthetical aside has gotten too long so I have to end the whole sentence and start over). If you don't like my content, well, fuck off, or come back a nother day and I might be more entertaining. No, I'm sorry I told you to fuck off. I didn't mean it, I swear. And if you don't like the pissed off cat, fuck off. And I do mean it this time, but in a nice friendly come-back-again way.

I know long convoluted sentences are hard to read, blah blah blah.

I'm also a reasonably well educated person. Many of you would have put a hyphen between 'well' and 'educated'. I would have, if I were writing a paper, but I'm not, so I didn't. I know a shitload about prescriptive rules of grammar and writing. I know the difference between a hyphen and a dash. I know when to use a semicolon; I know when to use a hyphen. I know when to use the subjunctive mood, and I know how to use 'whom' properly. I actually do know how to spell all the days of the week right, and I know that most people write 'a nother' as one word. My diary and I are just doing our part to keep the English language on track. We don't want it to get stuck in the 20th century. We're building a bridge for it to cross into this century.

Jack Kerouac was mad at his editors for putting a bunch of commas (among other things) into On the Road. What's the use in writing Fargo, North Dakota, if Fargo North Dakota will suffice?

In sum: Wow, I actually got kind of worked up about that. You should have seen me furiously typing all that crap. Boy, I sure am tired now LOL!

p.s. Every time I write LOL I'm kidding. Just so you know.

p.s.s. Holy crap, someone is having a party with the loudest band ever. No wait, there are two bands, and their loudnesses are competing with each other.

p.s.s.s. Miss Kitty might have eaten a frog tonight. I really hope she didn't, because what if she barfs and there's a frog in it? That would be so gross.

p.s.s.s.s. Good night, I'm going to bed to read Pride and Prejudice or Harry Potter or a school book (or not) and to listen to the bass and occasional shrieks (Wooooo! Woooooo!) from two loud parties pulsating across the fields and off the mountains into my bedroom.

p.s.s.s.s.s. There's a band called Anal Cunt. Maybe if I write the name Anal Cunt here I'll get more Googling perverts.

p.s.s.s.s.s.s. If you actually got down here to the bottom, sorry, come back tomorrow and I'll be better behaved I PROMISE.