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- This week is up and down, up and down. Started off feeling like a complete shit-head Monday morning when I got on my work computer and found out that my whole project team spent the weekend working - the whole project team except moi because I was unreachable. This is a giant no-no, so I was sure my PM was going to tell me off and tell my bosses and I was going to be fired. It became okay, though, because no one really seemed to notice(?) and there wasn't much I could do anyway - it's the devs who are working the most right now. My dog got an echocardiogram yesterday to check out his heart murmur and everyone is posting pictures all over the internet of their dearly departed dogs, and it's so sad to lose a pet, so I had given him up for dead and had shed some tears, but it turns out his heart murmur is fine and isn't affecting cardiac output now. So that's good. I was avoiding dealing with some of the paperwork I had to do for my mortgage application, and I was feeling pretty crappy about everything, but I eventually got everything submitted, so that's good and I feel better. I was feeling dumb about the house that I'm buying, that I'd offered way too much and no one else would pay that much and I'm an idiot, but I keep looking at the listing on Zillow and it has way more views and likes than any other house around, so... since other people like it, I can like it too. I am worried that there's no heat in the house besides the fireplace and the wall unit in the living room, and the little wall heaters in the bedrooms, but that doesn't make any sense. I mean, we'll find out for sure, but it's got concrete floors and if they didn't put heating in the floors that would be stupid and - it would have to be against code to not have more heat sources, right? And anyway I checked the energy bills for the last year and it's not even as much as I pay to freeze in my little apartment in the winter. So - like I said, we'll find out for sure but it's not going to be a freezing cold house. I just think I'm thinking about myself too much right now. I'm reading a book on building self-confidence using CBT, and I'm also reading a new fiction book, so hopefully I'll get out of my head and stop being so sensitive and up and down soon. Obviously things are weird and scary but it'll be okay. Even though - today it turned into September, and sure enough, this morning when I stepped outside it smelled like Fall.
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