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Saturday, Oct. 06, 2018 - 21:06

I've got this dumb notebook that I've never liked but have had forever - the first page is a comparison of college prices for the three schools my boyfriend and I were looking at. Tuition + room + board + books + personal - scholarships - loans - workstudy =

Then there's:

• A to-do list for 8/16/96: check on bill, pack for trip, pack for school, letter to scholarship donors, kitty blankey.


• An essay on music that I wrote for my boyfriend for his English class. I thought it was really good but it's pretty cringey. It's interrupted a couple times by drafts of some essay I was writing about jobs.


• A list of assets and debts ($85 in my checking account).


• An essay I wrote my first semester of college about an art installation at the bookstore.


• A list of classes to take the next semester.


• Another list of assets and debts ($180 checking, $165 another bank account, $70 cash = $415, quite an improvement, and only $29 debt).


• Addresses of scholarships to apply for.


• The draft of a letter to the president of the university protesting the termination of two adjunct instructors I'd had in college.


• Lists of all the songs I could find about rain or water or wetness, draft after draft of lists of songs for the Rain/Water mixtapes I made.


• Draft of a condolence note.


• Notes about a plane ticket.


• Notes about driving laws.

And then this, the only thing I'll keep:

Emily's visit was a disaster. Susan was grumpy because of the crow shit arrest. That Emily found it amusing didn't help any. But the final blow was when they were saying goodbye, Emily getting into the taxi, right after Susan had said - and meant - "Thanks for cheering me up." Emily said, "Don't you think it's time you got over him?"

That night Susan couldn't get to sleep, even though she was tired, and when she finally did fall asleep, she was woken up by a scary dream about a haunted house and a ghost named Joe.

Then later I tried to add to the story but what I added was dumb and forced and not related to what had come before.