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Monday, Apr. 30, 2018 - 15:02

Editor’s note: The following entry was written last Friday. It spent the weekend undergoing rigorous editing by highly skilled professionals and was given the go-ahead for posting just five minutes ago. Please enjoy.

I got a massage yesterday and started dreaming partway through. I realized I was falling asleep but that didn't stop me from continuing to be semi-asleep, even after I had to roll over onto my back. I have never ever fallen asleep during a massage because I never ever fall asleep when I'm doing stuff. In 10 years of yoga I've started to nod off during shavasana one time. Anyway, it was a good massage.

I always hate that I'm signed up for "interesting" races but I keep on signing up for "interesting" races. Every single goddamn time, when the race comes around, I am filled with rue, agony, and near-violent regret. Why do I do this to myself? WHY. I don't need any more t-shirts so that's not the reason anymore. (Although I must admit that one of the main reasons I signed up for the 50 is that you get a jacket. I do have too many jackets but I don't keep them in a drawer like I do my t-shirts, so it hasn't gotten to the point where I have to cut myself off.) I've got an awful race - or actually three races - tomorrow morning. Why did I sign up for this. Two more t-shirts to try to stuff into my already-bulging t-shirt drawer.

I did a 10-mile trail race last Sunday and it struck me that there is a big difference between trail running and running on trails. I run on trails. I don't know how trail runners run so fast. I was being a tad conservative because of my ankle, but even with an unrolled ankle I can't come close to those maniacs. The girl who beat me in the race on Saturday came in second on Sunday - she beat me by like three minutes on Saturday, it wasn't even close. On Saturday I came in about 20 seconds faster than I did last year. This year I was sixth overall, last year I was 10th overall and first female.

People are starting to make fun of me for my ultra-low mileage ultra training this year but ha ha joke's on them, I'll probably do splendidly. (I know that doesn't make any sense but it's either this cavalier attitude or full-on freakout. I'll wait until the first week of June to do a full-on freakout.)

If I'm not going to buy a house anytime soon and if all of society is going to break down as the American dream crumbles before our very eyes, I should probably get lasik. Will anyone still be manufacturing contacts after the impending apocalypse? I don't know but I won't have to worry about it anymore. Maybe early October would be a good time to get it done. (Hopefully we can stave off anarchy and war until then.) I should add more to my FSA to pay for that.

I haven't decided about teaching in the fall, though - that would put a wrinkle into the plan, I'd have to wait until January.

This would be the ideal teaching gig, honestly - lesson plans and quizzes provided, and I might even get a TA who could do all the grading. My desk job would suffer but I don't even have a job title or role description or any job security so..............

Editor’s note: The races went fine. Thank you for slogging through this self-indulgent crapfest.

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