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- Ugh, how long has it been, a month? More? I was fine at first, waffling between mad and unemotional, but now I’m at that shaky stage of despair and angst. I should recognize that this is what gets things moving, this inspires creativity, but I’m just filled with regret and sadness. Why can’t we convince ourselves to think the way we know is rational? I know what I should want but I do not want it and I can’t make myself want it. No. It sucks. I want a deus ex machina, I want things to be better. Or I can just think about training. Got to the gym on Sunday and yesterday, legs Sunday, arms/back yesterday. Tonight I do nothing (but stay home and cry). I mean tonight I’ll take the dog for a couple walks (but not long walks because it’s fucking frigid out there) and I’ll watch a movie and go to bed. As long as I can start adding mileage in March, I think I’m right on track for a 50 in June.
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