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- Gonna be 78 degrees on Thursday and 80 degrees on Friday! I wrote a paragraph about how I nearly pooped my pants when I heard that, but I deleted it because it was inappropriate. I had four weekends in a row of races and I thought it was over but this Saturday there's a race for dogs, so the puppy and I are doing another 5K. Then hopefully that's it for a while. The Weeknd is on Mars singing and dancing next to stone statues. A star flies through the sky. One of the stone statues comes to life as a sexy glowing lady with no muscles! The Weeknd dances with her. Then there's an eclipse and she turns back into a statue and falls down! A snake comes out of her? The Weeknd keeps on dancing, but then he falls to the ground and turns into a statue himself! Why was he even on Mars! What's with the snake? It begins to snow. Many years later, Daft Punk is trekking over the snowy Martian mountains, and they happen upon a purple glowy thing in the snow. Is this the Weeknd? No, unless I missed something because there was nothing purple and glowy previously in the video except for little things flying around and what are they supposed to be anyway, the end. Also, I know I am exactly three years late to this party, but Problem by Ariana Grande is just about the best thing ever. (Watch the lyric video, it's better than the real video.) The Weeknd lives in a very scary house with a piano. Oh no, he's tied up in his chair! There's a bad guy! He dies. He's the bad guy! He starts singing and spinning through the house. He's got paintings of Daft Punk and of himself on his walls. Oh no, now's he's picked up his weird glowing cross and is destroying stuff. Now he's in his bedroom, probably defiling it. Brought to you by Puma. Oh shit, not the lighter! Now he's dancing like a robot! Oh no, there's a kitty on the bed! He's lit the closet on fire! Get out, kitty! Oh good, the kitty and bad Weeknd get into a car and drive away. The kitty turns into a panther! Ahhh chill brah, now they're just driving down the road like Batman and Robin. This song has bad words in it, the end.
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