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YOGURT Good morning. Since I last wrote to you I have become a huge hippie and am now making my own yogurt. I ate some of my first batch this morning. Warm yogurt is gross and there's something I find super disgusting about homemade yogurt, I can't quite explain it. But I must eat all of this, for the following reasons: 1. I made it, 2. I have no biotics in my gut, 3. I bought tons and tons of milk at Costco a couple weeks ago and need to use it up. Why did I buy tons and tons of milk at Costco a couple weeks ago in the middle of a giant cold when I have a hard time getting through a half gallon of milk in the best of times? I have no answer for that question. The serendipity of receiving a used yogurt maker at a time when I lack biotics and am swimming in excess milk indicates that this was ordained by the universe, though, so let's just soldier on with confidence. The puppy is a good and sweet dog. His roommate's roommate is a goddamn thorn in the side of an otherwise happy and peaceful household. That motherfucker gives people-food to the puppy! The puppy isn't supposed to have people-food! Who gets in trouble for this? The puppy does. He gets in trouble for begging. Who's teaching him to beg? His roommate's roommate. That guy contributes nothing positive to the household, in my view. I suppose the one good thing this idiot is doing is paying rent for a year without even living there. He leaves tomorrow but says he's moving back in May. Ugh. The puppy and I are not looking forward to that. The puppy's roommate says he isn't either but you never know. Otherwise, things are going well at home. The ice has melted from the backyard, and it's now very soggy. We've got some bulbs coming up and those weirdo lily things have been alive all winter. Other things are starting to come back to life as well. It's exciting. This winter the puppy's roommate has gotten a firepit, a swinging loveseat, a second wheelbarrow (because who doesn't need two wheelbarrows?), a soil PH tester, and some pots. He's been growing raspberries inside all winter and they blossomed but I think those blossoms have died. We've cleared some of the straw off of things. I tried to take the straw off of the garlic on a very warm day during a very warm weekend and you know what? It was all frozen under there. When the puppy's roommate took the straw off of the strawberries on a cold day he said it was steaming underneath. Straw is an incredible insulator. Now that I'm a huge yogurt-eating hairy-armpitted hippie I'll probably start living in a straw house very soon. (I'm going to get my underarms waxed, what do you think of that?) Well, work has turned into a yucky shitstorm today, kind of like warm yogurt. It's like working in warm yogurt. How in the world did our ancestors figure out yogurt? Gross.
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