Mini-novel #2: Mother Nature's Wrath
Thursday, Nov. 13, 2014 - 23:00

Mother Nature's daughter, Vanessa, came home late on a Saturday night, slamming the door. She stomped to the couch and lay down, sniffling.

Mother Nature stumbled out of bed into the living room, initially angry at being woken up, but becoming concerned when she saw Vanessa's tears.

"Laudamercy, honey chile," Mother Nature said. "What's the fuss?"

"Billy has another girlfriend!" Vanessa wailed. Mother Nature shuffled into the bathroom and came back with a box of Kleenex. Vanessa blew her nose.

"He told me just last week that he loved me," she wailed. "He said we'd get engaged. Then today, tonight, with no warning at all, he told me he's in love with some girl named Stephanie. Stephanie!"

"Stephanie? Who?" Mother Nature asked.

"Some slutty bimbo he met on Facebook!" Vanessa said hysterically. "Who meets people on Facebook anymore?"

"How dare he," Mother Nature muttered softly. "How dare that sumbitch."

She gave Vanessa some valium and they both went to bed.

On Monday morning, Mother Nature left early for work. "Call me if you need anything," she said to Vanessa as she left the house.

Mother Nature sat impatiently in her car in traffic. Up ahead was a car like Billy's, and - she couldn't be sure it was him, but it looked like Billy, and some strange girl who could have been named Stephanie was in the car with him.

"Just you wait, you sumbitch," Mother Nature said to herself. When traffic started moving again, she sped forward, weaving in and out of her lane, flipping off the cars around her, first the Billy-like car, and then any others that honked at her.

She squealed into the parking lot at her office, tires screeching, and ran inside. She logged in to her computer and opened her Weather Management program, laughing.

"See what you think of this, Billy boy, you dirty sumbitch," she said, clicking rapidly with her mouse. An alarm beeped in the server room and her manager came running out of his office.

"Mother Nature," he screamed, "my god, what are you doing?"

"Stay out of it, boss," Mother Nature said. "This is personal."

The temperature dropped dramatically that day and a new record low temperature was set. The corporate office gave Mother Nature an employee performance award at the monthly office meeting, and she received a 1.5% pay increase.

Billy and Stephanie broke up within a week but Vanessa refused to take Billy back.