robins
Monday, Mar. 31, 2014 - 21:28

My shoulder's feeling better! Not completely healed but getting there. I'm feeling better about myself physically now, too! I think after three months of TRX I'm finally starting to notice a difference. After a couple weeks I could tell I was getting stronger, but now I'm not just stronger, I'm also trimmer. It's weird, I weigh a lot and I don't think I've lost any inches, but I'm more shapely. It's also weird because just last week I was feeling the opposite. I know I'm irrational. The boobs are so huge, though. It's confusing.

I don't have TRX or yoga this week. I didn't work out on my own today but I could have. Instead I went to Arby's for lunch. I never go to Arby's! I deserved it, it was delicious, I'll work out tomorrow. For dinner, though, I had steak and quinoa salad (delicious variation on my usual: quinoa, avocado, cucumber, tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, basil; mix up olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, chopped garlic, salt and pepper). So good, the body building women would approve. I wish I could stop myself from eating so much quinoa salad at once - it would be nice to have some leftovers.

I've been reading a women's fitness subreddit and it's nice - they focus on strength, not weight loss, and there have been a couple threads lately about the number on the scale. Progress pics showing people looking blobby at low weights but cut at higher weights - and they talk about their food intake. More food = weigh less.

I like this.

My cat died 10 years ago today.

I sent Tim an email. I could spend the rest of my life second-guessing everything. It's not like I hadn't tried to get in touch with him before - I did, and he didn't respond. I could spend the rest of my life wondering if I should try again or just wait for him, or just let it lie. But I wrote to him because I wanted to. I miss him always, you know, fuck it. After I sent it, a robin started singing outside, so I opened some windows to listen. I couldn't sleep last night. There are all these really great reasons for doing or not doing something but I guess we're all just bumbling along in life and it may be better to try than not try. I don't expect or want anything to come of this - I don't know if he'll even see it - if he were to respond I would be happy and if he doesn't, no difference. I'm okay.

I don't know how I got so off-track and it's taking a while to clean up but I feel like I'm making progress.

I love robins so much.