starting off the new year right
Saturday, Jan. 03, 2009 - 11:46

I have really been spamming myself lately, a lot more than I was before. Perhaps I am a college student and am home for the break with nothing to do other than send myself emails.

There have been the emails where I'm pretending like we know each other but I can't get in touch with myself, with subject lines like:
Don't disappear again!
Come upstairs!
dont' be late please
I lost your cell number
It's cold, don't keep me waiting
I need you, urgently!
Where are you, I'm frozen!
I've got problems, can't find u
Don't go home now!
We need your presence

And there are the ones where I'm trying to trick myself into giving me my password or bank account number:
Re: Your password change
Re: Your flight details
Re: your bank details
Re: Urgent response required
Please confirm your message

And there are the ones where I'm trying to help myself be more successful in bed (apparently I'm not aware that I'm a girl):
Achieve deeper penetration
Just licking it made her wet
Her erogenous zone
Be a non-stop pumping machine
Is your bedroom life dull?
Make your gf happy
Masculine power at its best
Swallow or spit?
Get all the chicks this 31st
With this, I have incredible stamina
Be a god of her intimate dreams
Give her a mind-blowing climax

And there are the inspirational ones (because I really am a nice person, even when spamming myself):
New Hope 'N New Beginnings
Warmest Wishes For 2009!
We seek for you all day!
Women are attracted to giants
We are committed to your total health!

Then there are the ones that are evidence I really am a spammer:
Undeliverable Mail
Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
**Message you sent blocked by our bulk email filter**
Your message could not be delivered
Returned mail: Quota exceeded
Returned mail: unreachable recipients
Undeliverable: hi

Even while I was typing this I sent myself another one! I am unstoppable. I wish I'd stop. Someone should prosecute.